60-Minute Switch: New Idea for Screen Time

Introduction

I am Amanda, the founder of BOOM Healing, an RCC, and a mom who navigates the world with an Autistic, PDA, and ADHD lens. I believe in the combination of research and intuition, and both BOOM Healing and my therapy practice are beautiful expressions of this. I am unconventional in my thinking, yet I work alongside the structures and practices of society. And yes, absolutely, I am an advocate and catalyst for change, but I do it in the most respectful way possible as I believe we all do the best we can every day with what we know and who we are. I write blogs because my son is my biggest inspiration and teacher – his body and spirit do things differently, which helps me reflect on and reconsider many things every day. I am not writing to tell you what to do, but if there is something helpful in my writing and ramblings, then that is wonderful.

Screen Time

Today, I am reflecting on screen time. I hear and respect the parenting wisdom to limit screen time. For me, the worries in this realm are valid. I feel these concerns inside of myself every time my son asks to go on his tablet. Truly, I panic inside – am I messing up? I worry to no end about the amount of time my kiddo spends on screens. My worries focus on addiction, never leaving the house because games are so much easier than real life, meltdowns and battles over limiting screens, lack of social connection, and brain development. My son is 8, so meeting people online has not been a concern for me – YET.

We are DIFFERENT

Our world is different than most. The public school system did not work for my kiddo. Our family was catapulted into unschooling (but that is a blog for another time). So, we are home a lot due to my kiddo’s sensory sensitivities and his nervous system needs, leading to countless unstructured hours at home with the potential for 13 hours a day of YouTube, Roblox, and Minecraft – oh my. Other neurodivergent families may relate to this abyss of time to fill and the impossibility of most structured or demanding activities. In our home, we have a ‘one thing a day’ approach whereby we aim to do one thing outside of the house a day for no more than 1-3 hours. We work within my son’s nervous system capacity – we respect his body and his needs. We gently coax, never push.

Dr. Naomi Fisher

I am a huge fan of Dr. Naomi Fisher, who writes extensively on neurodivergence and screen time. I have read several of her books and align fully with her wisdom and research. I know that my son feels regulated and safe when he is on a screen – this makes me grateful for screens. I know that my son is learning when he is on a screen, including problem-solving, decision-making, frustration tolerance, learning to learn, researching ideas, reading, and more. He gains a great deal of content from the shows and games he plays, which fuel his imagination and creativity. For example, my son is into mythical creatures – from his YouTube shows, we look up creatures across cultures and learn about their cultural, historical, and folkloric significance. Some of our research is conducted on Google, and some is done through books that I have brought into our home as reference guides. My son also has so much fuel for his imagination because of his screen time, and we support this by building the creatures he learns about in Lego and clay – we even purchase toys to encourage imaginative play. My husband and I are involved as Dr. Fisher recommends; we sit right alongside and discuss topics that come up and look up ideas to gain more information. I honestly would not want a no-screen house. My worry isn’t screens or no screens; it is simply the volume of hours he could accumulate on a screen if left unchecked and the potential negative impacts on his brain.

Healing – Yup, That Too

I also know that my son is healing when he is on a screen because he gets to be in control and have autonomy – he can often be heard saying, “I am the boss…the CEO.” Having control and autonomy is integral and powerful for all kids, even more so for kiddos with a history of pre-developmental trauma. He also gets a chance to blow off steam while playing games and watching his TV shows – we let him yell, swear, and engage with enthusiasm and volume. For us, this is good and healthy in the privacy of our home.

Friend and Colleague Guidance & Wisdom

One of my most respected friends, who is also an RCC of over 30 years, said to me, ‘Don’t worry, his brain will develop, but just differently than others; not wrong, just different.’ We are already different, both of us, so what is the harm? She also said that during the COVID pandemic, when other kids were struggling, her kids, who had had unlimited screen access since they were young, were playing Minecraft and staying connected with friends. Their screen habits protected them through COVID by maintaining social connection – do not underestimate the importance of this, as social connection is key to being safe and well in the world. I should add that both her children have gone on to top universities, and one is embarking on graduate-level studies; both are exceptional by society’s standards. But in the back of my mind is, but your kids go to school; mine doesn’t. Many hours of her kid’s days are not on a screen due to the structure and demands of schools. Our worlds are different in that my son and I have an incredible abyss of time to fill and must lead a low-demand lifestyle, predominantly at home. And I cannot be all things to my son for 13 hours a day – it’s too much for me to handle.

Just Take Breaks: 60-Minute Switch

My son and I had an appointment yesterday with our Naturopath, who is so much more than a Naturopath but also an energy healer or modern-day medicine man. I was explaining this all to him – which is a high-risk thing to do as so many professionals do not and cannot understand deeply divergent families like mine. Any other neurodivergent families reading this know the risk of advocating for screens to anyone outside of our community (and sometimes even within our community) – it is an area where we receive a lot of misunderstanding and judgment. But he listened (thank you, Dr. D), did not judge, and shared an idea. It was this idea that prompted the creation of this blog, which I am currently trialling. Let’s be clear: we are in the early days of trialling, but so far – wow. My Naturopath said, take breaks. Oh my, of course, duh. I knew this, but something about him speaking it brought to life. He suggested 75 minutes on and 45-60 minutes off. I adjusted this slightly and invented the 60-minute switch, and it’s working with ease and joy.

This 60-minute switch has let my son know that he can use screens all day, but he needs to take healthy brain breaks – equal time off as on. During his brain breaks, I have agreed to be focused on him and to support him – we have read together, spent time using his interactive globe and atlas, researched ideas, and I support his play. In other words, the 60-minute switch has done so much more than give him a brain break – it has enhanced our time together and our connection. I hope that we work up to time outside, like a hike in the forest. An hour feels doable for both of us – it’s enough time for him to get into his games and TV shows and enough time for him and me to do an activity together. And when he is on a screen, I can sit nearby, engage if he needs me, and get some of my work done. All in, it’s a win-win.

Down Side

Of course, with every new idea, there is something that is a hassle or a negative aspect. Managing the time isn’t much fun. Another potential problem is the lack of autonomy and control as I set the timer, not him. My son cannot do this yet. I hope that this practice fuels his passion for learning and managing his time – this way, he will have autonomy and control over his brain breaks. The 60 minutes without screen time has inherent demands on my son’s nervous system, and so I live with the constant worry that it is too much – that it will lead us to burnout. I am paying close attention to how my son is doing, watching for his cues of stress and using lots of cues of safety to support him by following his lead during the 60 minutes off screens. Time will tell if the 60-minute switch is too much, but I feel it is worth the experiment.

Conclusion: Curbing Some Guilt and Worry

The biggest thing that was happening to me with the endless screen time was endless mommy guilt and worry. I felt like a terrible parent, but I didn’t know how to strike a balance. All this guilt and worry was leading me down a path of exhaustion and depression. The 60-minute switch has helped so much more than his brain; it has helped both of our brains, bodies, and souls. Moreover, it sets the pattern for good brain health and self-care that will continue into adulthood. He is learning the value of switching activities and moving his body for wellness and enrichment.